A Birthday Song from My Fantastic Friend Nancy Langham (a mere baby at 24 years of age...)

 

They tell me life begins at 30

And I guess it’s true

But I’m so busy being young

I wouldn’t know what to do

 

I see my good friend Amy

Turning 30 today

I look to her for inspiration

For when I grow up someday

 

Chorus:

Oh, Amy is 30, and I know this for sure

When I grow up I wanna be just like her!

 

Apparently when your 30

You say the word “fuck” a lot

You ask your friends to touch your ass

Cause it’s hard as a rock

 

You take a self-defense class

Make your boss cower in fear

You go to bachelorette parties

And wear a penis behind your ear

 

Chorus:

Oh, Amy is 30, and I know this for sure

When I grow up I wanna be just like her!

 

You refuse to eat the “common” things

Like sandwiches and chocolate

But you’ll die for Krispy Kreme

Cause that’s what they have in Knoxville

 

You write songs about Deli girls

You play with Flash and say

“I crack my ass up!”

Nearly twenty times a day

 

Chorus:

Oh, Amy is 30, and I know this for sure

When I grow up I wanna be just like her!

 

You’ll play on lots of softball teams

Volleyball leagues old and new

I don’t think drinkin’ has a league yet

But you’d join that too

 

You have a loving husband

Who digs you even though

Your passion for Rick Springfield

Is way out of control

 

Chorus:

Oh, Amy is 30, and I know this for sure

When I grow up I wanna be just like her!

 

So, my dear friend Amy

Take a lesson from this youth

You say it’s all about you

But we know the truth

 

You’re a joy to all around you

With a shining, laughing face

Intelligence, wit, and inspiration

Kindness and good taste

 

You’re the funniest chick I’ve ever met

And even better than that

You’re the most wonderful friend

For taking all this crap!!

 

Chorus:

Oh, Amy is 30, and I know this for sure

When I grow up I wanna be just like her!